Sunday, July 12, 2015

Three Dog Poems

A Large, Smelly Beast

Small packs of children
Laugh hysterically as
I crush rotten vegetables
In the huge excavating
Machine that is my maw,
And there’s a crescendo
Of hoots as I lather my
Thick hide in a cologne
Of mud and feces then
Saunter over to mount
My bulldozer of a girlfriend.
You’ll surmise I’m a sluggard
As the homosapien hoses down
My perfectly fitting hide,
But I’ve seen them carry
Seven generations of snow
Leopards out of here
And while you were mocking
Your wife was home
Fucking the Great Dane.


I saw this movie about
A dog and his master.
The man starved the dog
So he got all hungry and mean.
He was a good boy but
He was hungry.
The man had a plan to
Use the dog for nefarious
He introduced his boss
And his ex wife and
The tax collector to
The dog and he ate them.
Then he starved the dog
Some more and invited
Rod Serling over
But he slipped and fell
And the dog ate him.


A bell sounds
And three dogs,
A Great Dane named
Basso, a collie named
Archibald, and a
Dachshund named Federico
Begin to salivate.
A mousy lab assistant
In a dingy frock
Serves the frothing dogs
Pig entrails and mash.
The dogs eat ravenously.
Later the dogs talk
Amongst themselves.
They agree the humiliation
Is a small price to pay
For aiding Pavlov in his
Crucial research and
Besides the lab girl
Has nice legs.
Federico says
It’s poker night.
The dogs laugh
In dog language.

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