Monday, July 6, 2015

Five Outsider Poems By Thomas L. Vaultonburg

Thomas L. Vaultonburg founded Zombie Logic Press in 1997. Almost twenty years later Zombie Logic has been called "America's most dangerous small literary press" by NPR. In 2014 they published Iced Cream by former Green Party mayoral candidate Jesus Correa, the self-described "world's best dishwasher." In 2015 they will publish the first book of noir poet Dennis Gulling. Here are five poems by Thomas L. Vaultonburg from his book Flesh Wounds. Feel free to submit your Outsider art and poetry to editor Olivia Suchs at

The Trouble

The trouble with
Maintaining standards
And appearances
Is the bad behavior
Gets all the good words
Like philandering,
Malfeasance or
And if you do it well
They call you a knave
A miscreant or
A rogue
And those are beautiful
I know it’s a weakass
Poem but if you’d seen
The young girl who
Insisted on wearing
A short, red skirt
Despite the subzero
Weather who inspired
It you’d understand.

Among the Breeders

They want safety now.
A world without botulism,
Rabid badgers
Or faulty airbags.
Are these the same
Motherfuckers I saw
Tearing up my universe
And despoiling my
Gardens and faeries
Last year?
They’ll get what
The rest of us get:
Rusty nails, live
Wires and all the
Carnage their stomachs
Can hold.

The Books

Unsatisfied with the original
Wound, you return
For The Books.
Dylan Thomas, Henry Miller and
Pound were always mine
You sneer, and when
You bend low to grab
My Cummings
I make the fatal mistake
Of noticing the new
Tits your lover bought you-
A thrust and twist
Of the shiv.
As you round the corner
` I toss Adrienne Rich’s Collected
After you and yell
“Just keep your hands off
My Bukowski’s you fucking

Home Delivery

The truck’s impassive
Rumbling shook
The poems right out
Of me. Poems about
The lonely men begging
Us to stay for just one
Beer and the lonely women
Angling for illegal
Hookups. We left them
With machines to clean
Up the blood and tears.
We got back in
The truck.

The Outsider Poet Thomas L. Vaultonburg at Gulf Shore 2014

Planning Your Free
Paris Vacation

Move to Quebec and breed.
They have French blood
And feel superior,
But outnumbered,
And will pay you
To eat croissants,
Wear a beret and
Learn French while you breed.
Take your time
And read some Proust
While breeding,
Then collect your check,
Leave the children with relatives,
And go to Paris.

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